Your New Beginning Is Waiting
In the last blog and podcast Let It Flow, we covered the topic of loss and how to appropriately deal with it in order to heal and move forward. Loss can take so many forms such as the loss of a career, loss of income, loss of assets, loss of a business, and so on. Loss can also impact your personal life regarding the loss of a meaningful relationship. However loss applies to you, loss happens to all of us in life.
So after you experience a loss and complete the grieving process; how do you then start over? Because often the opportunity for a whole new beginning arrives after we experience a major loss. Typically after we experience a loss (including all the pain and chaos attached to it), we are all too ready for this start over opportunity! Because we certainly don’t want to stay in the energy of loss forever.
So even though we don’t want to dwell in the energy of loss (and only want short-term visitation rights), we still must temporarily “check-in” to this Misery Motel of Loss for a short stay. It is crucial after we experience a loss that we take the time to honor and understand the loss we endured. It is important to reflect for the following reasons: 1. Closure 2. Finding any lessons you were intended to learn from the experience.
What we don’t learn is bound to repeat itself. People who have been hit with a major loss either financially or personally understand repetition is the last thing you will want. So ask yourself these questions: What can you learn from the loss? What did the experience teach you that you can apply as you move forward with your start over? What did the experience teach you about yourself as a person?
In this phase of reflection, it is also critical to find a sense of gratitude for the experience. I know it can be extremely challenging to find the “attitude of gratitude” towards negative experiences in our lives. However when you remove the dark shades from your eyes, you will see at least one ray of sunshine to have gratitude toward. No matter how big or small, we can all find at least one thing to be grateful for regarding the experience of loss.
This can be gratitude for the lessons learned which have made you wiser and stronger. Did the loss teach you that you are stronger than you ever realized? I bet it did! And you can surely be grateful for that. If you are struggling with finding gratitude in your situation, then start with the fact you are alive right now. Be grateful you survived the loss and are taking the very breath you are inhaling right now. Start there and then expand.
After you’ve done your time at the Misery Motel of Loss and completed the reflection phase, it’s time to check out of there! Like I said, we don’t want to permanently move in and dwell with the cocka-roaches of misery. This is just a short-term stay to gain perspective for our start over. So now comes the more adventurous part of your journey which is the clean slate.
It’s now time to try new things, gain new experiences and get back in alignment with who you are as a person. In other words, do some self discovery. So what makes you happy? What provides you passion in your life? What did you love as a child? What gives you inner peace and tranquility? It’s time to reconnect with you. The real you.
Doing this will be highly beneficial towards creating a passionate new start over in life. Whether this be concerning a start over with a career, a new business venture or investment, a new love or friendship…whatever it is for you! You want your start over to truly align with who you are to the core.
When your path connects to your core self and is inspired through inner wisdom, you will feel so motivated and uplifted towards your path. It just feels good to follow your inner guidance, which will make you want more of it! Doing what we love and are passionate about (regardless of what others think), provides us with a powerful drive towards achievement.
Of course, there will be some trial and error. You probably won’t get it 100% right the first time. That’s why it’s important to try new things and experiences (in addition to traveling back to your childhood passions) to determine the best path for you. Just remember not to repeat the negative patterns from your past. Learn from your prior mistakes and prior losses. Then apply those lessons to your present day. Do not repeat your past.
We Can’t Take Them All With Us
Unfortunately part of self discovery also involves removing people from our lives. Often times we’ll need to remove people from our lives who no longer serve our highest good and are no longer aligned with our core self (and core values). This even includes people we’ve known our whole lives. And this is not easy! However it is 100% necessary to achieve a start over in alignment with who you are to the core of your being.
Not everyone can come with you on your start over journey. And you will know or will learn fairly quickly which people can not travel with you. I’ll give you a clue though. These people will most likely be the ones trying to hold you back through practices such as: criticism, skepticism, negativity, deceit, lies, attempting to make you feel small or incapable…you know, all the standard hater vibes!
Once you identify who no longer can travel with you on your path forward, just wish these people bon voyage. Do not hold a grudge in your heart since that doesn’t serve you either. Just move on your merry way towards your beautiful, new destiny. Even though it’s painful, it’s also essential for your start over.
Kick Fear In The Face
In order to start over, you will also need to handle the bad boy known as fear and knock him off your back. Conquering fear is a major part of the start over process! This includes fear of the unknown, fear of rejection and fear of failure. All the biggies. But don’t worry, you got this. Listen to the prior podcasts Into The Unknown To Conquer Fear, Conquering Fear of Failure, and Beat Fear Of Rejection for in-depth guidance on how to kick fear flat in the face.
The biggest takeaway regarding fear is this: You will experience fear. You will need to move forward despite the fear, not in absence of it. Fear is a natural human emotion, but it is only an emotion. And when you recognize fear for what it is, you can deal with it accordingly (with a backhand to the mouth, right? LOL).
Don’t let fear stop you from pursuing your passionate, new start over. We often must close one door for another door to open. Even though it’s scary to close a door without knowing what’s next, this is how the universe works. Having faith and trust in your inner knowledge system will help guide you through the uncertainty though.
Call To Action
Now that you’ve done the reflecting, exploring (including cutting out people and patterns which don’t serve you) and conquered the universal emotion of fear, it’s action time! You ultimately must take action to achieve your new start over.
You must take meaningful action steps towards your new vision and goals in life. Action is the antidote to fear. So action will naturally remedy your fears. Action will teach that you possess the ability and power to handle anything that comes your way!
And things will come your way which will require you to modify or adjust. So move forward and flexible, but still move forward. Just to be clear: NOT taking action IS taking action. It’s taking action to stay stagnant and complacent. So take the required action to move forward instead.
Take the action steps forward, even if they are baby steps. As you move forward, your confidence and your abilities will grow! So your lil’ baby steps will turn into swaggering strides. And who doesn’t want some swagger in their step?
The following quote is from First Lady, Eleanor Roosevelt:
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Yup. Look fear dead in the eyes and backslap it. Start living the life you were born to live today (even if you must start over to do so!).
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